In a group session today, one of my students complained about being upset with his friend because he refused to practise Law of Attraction to fix his problems. My student looked clearly disappointed with the guy. He went on adding that this guy is ruining his life. He boozes. He smokes. He is depressed. He doesn’t take care of himself and doesn’t follow any daily routine.
I listened calmly to his story. Then asked him a simple question: “Did your friend ask for help?”
He said: “No. But he is my closest buddy. And its my right to guide him if he is on a wrong path.”
I asked him again: “Did your friend ask for help?”
He said: “No. But…”
I interrupted. “If he didn’t ask for help, you shouldn’t help”.
He looked at me in amazement because I was contradicting myself. As an empath, we have an inherent need to help others. To guide others reach their potential.
BUT ONLY WHEN ASKED TO DO SO.
Funny it may sound but you have been “Mr. or Ms. Fix-It” at some point of time in life.
This happens when your mind focuses ONLY on what needs to be changed, improved, controlled, or managed in another person. Your mind is constantly thinking about what is not right in someone and wants to help “fix it”. Little do these “Mr. or Ms. Fix-It” know that trying to fix others only makes them feel more imperfect, incomplete, and inadequate. Nobody likes to hear the message that there is something inherently wrong with them that needs to be fixed.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who tried fixing you?
You must have felt alienated right away. The more your partner focussed on what needs to be fixed in you, the unhappier you must have felt about yourself and your life.
“Let’s Fix-Them” energy will only lower your intimacy, feelings of connection, and love that you have with others. The more you want to fix someone, the more they respond with the tendency to defend their turf and try to prove that they are alright and do not need fixing!
That being said, an important thing to note here is that “Mr. or Ms. Fix-It” actually have good intentions about helping their partner, friend, co-worker, or family member become a better person, but he is seen as a villain because
“Mr. or Ms. Fix-It” become so addicted with finding perfection in others, that they forget that THEY are the only one they should be focusing on.
THEY are the one they should be working on.
So what advise did I give to my soft hearted student?
I told him to stop being “Mr. or Ms. Fix-It” right away. If someone is lying on a ground in need of help but do not grab your hand when you offer it to them, just remember that the time of their learning has not arrived yet.
You are not here to fix other people’s life. They are on their own spiritual journey. Let their soul be the guide of their path. They also need to learn life lesson from the “unwanted” situation they are experiencing. However, feel free to support them, assist them and guide then when asked for.
In the meantime, keep working on yourself and refocus your mind on what’s good in people around you.
Always remember:
YOU ARE A MANIFESTING MAGNET WHO IS HERE ON A JOYFUL JOURNEY.
BE PRESENT. PAY ATTENTION.
Your Take away from this post:
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